The Sexuality Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex carries tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to incredibly difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective feelings of destination, excitement, well-being, nearness, and love .

But when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a lot of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in urban locations, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable, lots of gay guys desire to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a considered next that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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