The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are attracted to extremely i was reading this hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, well-being, closeness, and love .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that numerous of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cities, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Numerous gay males wish to discover from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Head”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar