The Sex Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to incredibly tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , leading to effective sensations of destination, excitement, closeness, love, and wellness .

But when problems develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but go to this web-site the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that much of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in city locations, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. Many gay guys wish to learn from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I believe this is great post to read a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize recommended you read your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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