The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex carries immense meaning and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to incredibly hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, nearness, well-being, and love .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools redirected here are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that many of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable, numerous gay guys desire to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either visite site there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, useful content we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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