The Sensuality Catch, Balancing Hormones and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to exceptionally tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, love, nearness, and well-being .

However useful source when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in metropolitan areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sexual activity. Numerous gay guys wish to discover from the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North includes, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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